Of Cake and Computer Games
by Eternal Density
Summary: Sam is supposed to be taking a break. Jack wonders why she's still at her computer. This leads to fun situations. Also, cake. Yet another standalone fic that showed up demanding to be written.
1. Chapter 1

Notes: Argh! This story suddenly popped into my head while reading 25 Random Things by KrisK - I got up to the word "Cake!" and a plot-bunny jumped me.

Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate (we all know who does), but I do own a copy of the computer game Portal. But Valve own Portal.

Setting: SGC, perhaps some time around the present, which means Jack is visiting. But that's not really important as it's not really relevant to the story!

Alert: Spoilers for Portal. (Currently, for test chamber 9. Did you know that Portal levels 1-11 are available free, from Valve? Simply Google for: portal first slice

And now, the story!

-

"Carter! What do you think you're doing?" Jack demanded upon seeing her working at a computer in her lab.

"Sir?" Sam was confused, as she wasn't aware of doing anything wrong.

"You're supposed to be taking a break, Carter."

"I am. Sir," she replied, still devoting much of her attention to the screen which Jack could see.

"That means you shouldn't be doing any work, in case you didn't realise," Jack reminded her.

"I'm playing a game," she explained, still concentrating on what she was doing.

Jack was suddenly far more interested, and walked around to room so he could see. "Sweet! It that some kind of space gun?"

"No Sir, it's the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device," Sam informed him.

"Ack!"

"Sorry Sir. It's Portal Gun," she simplified.

"Meaning?"

Sam smiled widely at the chance to explain. "When I shoot it at a wall or other suitable flat solid surface, it forms an ad-hoc quantum bridge, allowing bidirectional transportation of both light and matter."

"And in English that means what?"

"It's like the Stargate, but people can walk through both ways and it's smaller. Also, instead of needing a ring of naquadah and a dialing computer, I can move the ends of the portal by shooting at the walls. Or the floor or ceiling. And you can see through, see?"

Jack watched as Sam demonstrated. "That's... visually confusing. How can you tell which way is up?"

"It's the opposite of the direction you fall, Sir," Sam explained a little cheekily.

"Right, how could I forget? So, you walk through the blue end, and come out the orange end?"

"Yes, or in the orange and out the blue. But the orange end is up on a platform that I can only reach by first walking through the blue end."

"Can't you put the orange end wherever you like?" Jack wondered.

"No, only the blue one at the moment. I think I may be able to upgrade the Portal gun later in the game to be able to shoot orange as well as blue. Earlier in the game, I could only walk through portals that were made for me."

Jack decided that made enough sense, for now. "Okay... but what's with the Goa'uld force field? This is too much like your job to be a game, with the mini-Stargates and force fields," Jack told her off.

"It's an Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grille."

"Like for my barbeque?"

"No, it disintegrates objects to stop me from removing them from the testing area, or into a room it doesn't want me to take them into. It also closes the portal." Sam picked up a cube and carried it through the field as a demonstration.

"So it's like a zat gun. Neat and it even drops a replacement cube for you! But what's the giant cube for?"

Sam turned her character around and pointed. "I need to drop it on that button to hold the door open so I can leave the room."

"But the button's on the other side of the... box zapper! You're clearly stuck," Jack declared.

At that point the computer apologetically interjected, "No one will blame you for giving up. In fact, quitting at this point is a perfectly reasonable response."

"See, even the computer agrees with me!" Jack said triumphantly.

"It's trying to trick me. I can actually take the cube into the other end if one portal is in each room," Sam pointed out.

"But the orange end is out of reach!"

Sam fired the blue portal and carried the cube through to the raised platform. "Not if I leave the cube up here, Sir."

"Sneaky, Carter, very sneaky. But I think you've played enough: you should find something to do that doesn't look like a Goa'uld funhouse."

"Do you have anything in mind, Sir?"

"You could join me in the comissary. I here there's cake," Jack tempted.

"I'll just finish this level," Sam promised.

"No, Carter, you should..."

"Quit now and _cake _will be served, immediately," the computer interjected. Sam gaped at the screen.

Jack looked smug. "Can't argue with that!"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

-

"Um, Carter, who's that girl in the orange?" Jack wondered as he pointed at the computer screen.

"Her? That's actually me," Sam replied as she narrowly avoided falling into some murky looking water.

"You, Carter? I've known you for long enough to say that she's definitely not you."

"I meant she's the character I'm playing in the game," Sam clarified.

"Oh, then why was she all the way over there? Didn't you say this is a first-person game?"

Sam placed a portal on each side of a corner. "Yes, it is. But I can sometimes see myself through portals. 'Over there' is actually the same place as where I'm standing."

"Can you run that by me again?"

Sam pointed at the security camera. "Suppose we placed a security monitor on the other side of the room so we could watch ourselves in it. We can see us in apparently another location in the distance, but in fact we're looking at ourselves in our current location from the angle of the camera. In the same way, in the game I can see myself by looking into one end of the portal, from the perspective of the other end of the portal. the difference is that the portal connects the points in space where the 'camera' and 'monitor' are via a quantum bridge, and it works in both directions."

"That's complicated," Jack commented as Sam's character entered an elevator. "I don't suppose you could build us a working one?"

Sam shook her head. "The principle in the game is very different to the operating principles of the Stargate or Asgard transporters. Because of the quantum entanglement of the two separated spacial fields, there is no molecular breakdown and reconstruction process required. If it's even possible, it would require research into an entirely separate field - no pun intended."

"Was that a no?"

"I'm afraid so, Sir."

"Pity. It would have been fun to mess around with these 'portals' in real life, rather than it just being a game."

Sam gasped. "You did it again, Sir!"

"Carter?"

"You gave me an idea. I have to talk to Doctor Lee. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything." And with those hurried words, she was gone.

"Hey, what did I say?" Jack fruitlessly called after her.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

-

"No."

"Sir, I thought you wanted to..."

"Not like this," Jack disagreed.

"It's actually far safer this way. If I had an actual prototype Portal Gun, it might have the possibility of blowing up or sending us to the wrong place, or worse."

"Such as?"

"Such as interfering with the quantum states of all our constituent particles."

"Which would be bad?"

"Lethal, I'm sure. This way, we don't need to do any research, and it's all in your head."

"It seems like things have a habit of getting in my head, Carter. Things that almost kill me."

"You're not the only one, Sir. All of SG-1 have had something in their heads lead to brushes with death at one point or another. And that includes Jonas, Cam, and Vala, not just the originals."

"Your point being what exactly?"

Sam suddenly realised her argument hadn't been a useful one. "Actually, there wasn't one in that statement. But the Simulation Chairs have been tested a great deal more since the incident with Teal'c. There will be no danger. And besides, Portal has no enemies, just puzzles."

"You're sure about that? What about the water you nearly fell into?"

"That would 'kill' the character, but it wouldn't hurt us or affect us in any way, just reset the level back to the last savepoint."

"Us, Carter?"

"Of course, did you think I would want to miss out?"

"Well, no," Jack hedged, "but it's a single player game."

Sam nodded. "It is, but Bill and I adjusted it to work with two characters as players. We only have one Portal Gun between us, but we can take turns."

"We'd better," Jack vehemently agreed. "Alright, I'll do it, but if something goes wrong, you're fixing it!"

"Understood, Sir." She turned to Doctor Lee and waved to get his attention. "Bill? It's time to jack us in to the system. Um, pun not intended."


	4. Chapter 4

Warning: from here on, lots and lots of spoilers for the plot and puzzle solutions of Portal (which is still owned by Valve, not me).

Chapter 4

-

*static*

*flash*

The dull grey walls of the SGC were replaced by the lighter grey - but equally plain - walls of the Aperture Science Enrichment centre. Jack looked around and noticed he was inside a room with striped class walls. The room also contained a toilet, radio, and what he figured was some sort of stasis pod or resting chamber for a human or humanoid. A light flickered overhead and a timer counted down the ten-thousandths of seconds in a minute. Also in the room stood Samantha Carter, decked out in an orange jumpsuit. "Carter?"

"Sir," she replied, her tone implying, 'All's well.'

"So, this is the beginning of the game," he said conversationally.

"Yep. The orientation speech should start soon."

"Sweet." Jack picked up a mug from the stand beside the sleeping chamber, but found it empty. "Should have brought a snack," he mused.

Before Sam could reply, a female computerised voice began speaking in a sing-song manner which Jack found slightly creepy.

"Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center. We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one. Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the test proper. Before we start however, keep in mind that although fun, and learning are the primary goals of the enrichment center activities, serious injuries may occur. For your own safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from..." The warning unexpectedly broke off into indecipherably glitched gibberish, accompanied by sparks. "...and back. The portal will open in three... two... one."

"That warning was... not useful. Is it meant to do that?" Jack wondered.

Sam shrugged. "I think so. It did the exact same thing when I played."

"Must be someone's idea of a joke," Jack figured. He looked through the newly opened portal. "I can see us."

Sam pointed to the right, through the glass wall. "There's the other end of the portal. You can see us there too. If you stay here and I walk through, you'll be able to clearly see how it works."

"Carter..." he began to protest, but she'd already gone. Looking through the portal, she was only a few steps away, but looking through the glass wall she was... a few more steps away in a different direction. "Okay, I get it. I'm coming through. He stepped through the portal, hearing a slight buzz in his ears but not feeling anything. "It's certainly a smoother ride than the Stargate," he commented.

Sam nodded. "Much smoother."

Jack noticed a large white sign on the wall. "Stage 00 of 19," he read. "And I figure those symbols mean stuff will be dropped from above and we don't want to get hit in the head?"

"Pretty much," Sam agreed. "This way." She started walking around the glassed-in area, and Jack followed close behind. They came to an open doorway, through which a big red button was visible. On entering the room, a dispenser in the ceiling could be seen holding some kind of cube. A moment later, it opened and the cube dropped to the floor with a metallic clunk.

"Ah, it's, 'beware the falling cubes!' Good to know. So, I assume that the blue dotted line across the floor means this big red button opens that door, which is where we need to go?"

"Exactly," Sam confirmed. To illustrate, she stood on the button, changing the indicator lights from blue to orange, opening the door, and changing the big cross mark beside the door to a tick.

"Sweet! We get to push big red buttons without anything exploding! I'm going to love this game," Jack declared as he picked up the metal cube. Sam stood aside and the door automatically closed. Jack dropped the cube on the button to hold the door open, so they could both proceed. "Pretty simple, but it _is _level 0, after all," he reasoned as they passed through the doorway.

"Excellent," the voice-from-nowhere intoned. "Please proceed into the chamber-lock after completing each test." The pair took this as their cue to proceed. "First, however, note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grille will vapourize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it. For instance, the Aperture Science Weighted Storage Cube." By this time, they were already in the elevator, heading to the next level.

"I think that thing - person - whatever - likes to hear itself talk," Jack commented.

"It does a good job of explaining the game. Mostly," Sam weakly defended.

"Eh, you do much better," Jack complimented. "So, what have we got to do next?" He checked the sign. "No fancy warning symbols this time."

Sam pointed to the left. "We jump down there."

Jack mentally measured it. "That's quite a drop. My knees won't like it."

"That won't matter while we're in the game. And we have these things clipped to our ankles so we can fall a long way without being hurt."

"Ah, I kinda wondered why we had those things. Makes it awkward to walk quickly. So... down there." Jack looked over the edge. "After you," he offered.

Sam casually jumped over the edge and landed daintily on her feet, thanks to the heelsprings. "See Sir, the heel-springs make it perfectly safe!"

Jack made the leap a little more cautiously, and was satisfied when he landed without pain. An orange portal opened behind him and the voice began giving instructions. "Please place the Weighted Storage Cube on the 1500 megawatt Aperture Science Heavy Duty Super-colliding Super-button."

Jack ignored it for the time being and commented, "Okay, you were right this time. I suppose this makes me Heel-spring Jack."

"Uh, that's Spring-heel Jack. Sir," Sam corrected, belatedly adding the Sir.

"That it is... but I'm Heel-spring Jack."

"As you wish, Heel-spring Sir," Sam answered teasingly.

"Ha ha, Carter."

"That's Colonel Heel-spring Carter."

Jack decided that was enough goofing off. "Enough of that, Carter. We have a puzzle to solve. What's this about a super-something?"

"It's just another box we drop on a button to open a door."

"Oh. I suppose that since there's no other way out, it's through that portal?" Jack took a closer look, and was surprised when the view of the other side changed. "Whoa, what happened?"

"The other end of the portal is cycling between multiple destinations," Sam explained. "We need to wait until it's set to take us to the right place."

"Which is where?"

"I'll let you figure that out, Sir."

Jack watched a few more changes and concluded, "We've got a box, a button and a door on the other ends. That makes it pretty simple." He waited for the box - or Weighted Storage Cube - to reappear and stepped in. By the time he had picked up the cube and returned to the portal, it was gone, leaving a blank wall and no exit. "Hey! Carter?"

Sam waved at him through the glass wall.

"Not funny, Carter!" Jack waited until the blue portal reappeared and hurried back through. "Stay with me, Carter. I don't want to lose you. I mean I don't want to get lost in this place."

Sam pointed through the glass wall. "You were only that far away, and there was only one way out. You couldn't possibly have become lost."

"For a moment there was _no _way out!" Jack protested.

"You need to think fourth dimensionally," Sam teased.

"This is heavy," Jack replied. "You can put it on the button."

With a smile, Sam took the cube, stepped halfway through the portal, and tossed it onto the button. "Done."

Opening the door triggered another computerised message-from-above. "Perfect. Please move quickly to the chamber-lock, as the effects of prolonged exposure to the button are not part of this test."

"Um, Carter, I think we should get going." Jack made sure the portal would take him to the right place, and hurried through with Sam close behind.

"Actually I think it's just trying to hurry us along. There's no danger from the button."

"I'd rather not risk it," Jack replied as the elevator took them to the next test chamber.

"Whoever is running these tests has an odd sense of humour. You'll see," Sam assured him.

"If you say so." Jack found the next sign and examined it to see what Test Chamber 2 would involve. Again, there were not warning symbols The voice began before he could comment to Sam.

"You're doing, very, well. Please be advised that a noticable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol, but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grille, which may, in semi-rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and teeth."

"Uh... I really hope you're right about the sense of humour, Carter." Sam didn't say anything, but instead hurried through the door that had opened. The sound of an energy buildup was heard as they descended some stairs, and a ball of blue portal energy came flying through a small window. It impacted on the wall and opened a new portal. Sam stepped through with Jack close behind. They found themselves overlooking the area they had seen during the dental warning, but from the opposite direction and with no glass in the way. A portal gun could be seen, rotating and periodically firing portals at the four walls.

"You can do the honours, Sir," Sam offered with a flourish.

Nodding, Jack jumped down and removed the Portal Gun from the pedestal. "Sweet."

"Very good. You are now in possession of the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. With it, you can create your own portals. These inter-dimensional gates have proven to be completely safe. The device, however, has not. Do not touch the operational end of the device. Do not look directly at the operational end of the device. Do not submerge the device in liquid, even partially. Most importantly, under no circumstances should you-" The warning ended in garbled sound and static.

Jack looked like he wanted to drop the device and run. "Uh, Carter, are you sure this is a good idea?"

"It's a game, Sir. Stop worrying."

"Does that mean it's okay to look into..."

"Better not," Sam quickly answered.

"Fine, I won't. I guess I need a portal to get back up to where you are."

Sam pointed at the orange portal they had walked out of. "Just fire at the nearest wall, and you'll be able to walk through to here."

With a little fiddling, Jack found a comfortable grip and the trigger. He pulled, and a blob of portal energy hit the wall. Sam waved at him through the newly formed portal. "Nice!" He willingly stepped through and they left through the newly-opened sliding door.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Sam, Jack, and Stargate SG-1 in general are not mine. Neither is Portal, Aperture Science, the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device (portal gun), any of the Test Chamber designs or elements, or the Voice from Nowhere. This is written for fun, not profit. Please enjoy!

Warning: lots and lots of spoilers for the plot/solutions of Portal.

-

Chapter 5

"Please proceed to the chamber-lock. Mind the gap," the feminine machine-like voice instructed as soon as the pair of orange-wearing players entered Test Chamber 03.

"'Mind the gap', she says. Well it's certainly a gap," Jack observed. A wide gulf separated the officers from what was the only way forward. A set of stairs let from the bottom up to where the pair stood, but there was no way to access the other side. "I take it that the orange glow on the wall way over there is the other end of a portal?"

"That's right, Sir," Sam confirmed.

Jack considered the possibilities. "So if I shoot one onto _this_ wall and step through..." He did so and found himself on the other side of the gap. "Sweet."

"Well done," Sam commented. She stood only a few feet away through the portal. Jack turned ad saw her standing in the distance, on the other side of the gap. He waved, and she waved back. Then she stepped through the portal and stood at his side.

"Funny how you were so far away while standing right next to me," Jack mused. He noticed that the raised area on which they stood was at a corner of the test chamber. The entrance was behind and to the left the exit door was visible. It was on the other side of a wide gulf just like the first gap. Jack fired a blue portal close to the door. The first blue portal immediately vanished and the view through the orange portal changed. "Looks like we need to step back through the orange portal to go forward. Odd."

"Yes, it is," Sam agreed. "But it's no different in principle to stepping through the Stargate to one planet, then dialling another planet, and finally stepping back into the Stargate you came out of from your starting point to get to the other planet. The only difference is that we can see our destination both through the portal and without it." To prove her point, she stepped through and emerged beside the exit. Jack now had both a distant frontal view and a close side view of her, depending on which direction he looked.

"I think I follow," Jack replied, following her through the portal. Together they walked to the elevator.

The test now being completed, the voice told them, "Well done. Remember, the Aperture Science 'Bring your daughter to work' day is the perfect time to have her tested."

"Did that sound as creepy to you as it did to me, Carter?" Jack asked as the elevator took them to the next test chamber.

"I think so, Sir. Fortunately we don't have – I mean neither of us has – a daughter."

"Right, so.... what next?" Jack walked ahead into the next test chamber, which was rather small.

"Welcome to Test Chamber 04. You're doing quite well."

"Yippee for us," Jack flatly answered the computerised voice. "So... we've got another one of those door-opening buttons." The button was directly ahead a short way down a narrow corridor. In the ceiling beyond it and to the right, a delivery vent released a cube which landed in a fairly deep pit. A little way beyond the pit and to the left waited the easily accessible exit door. All this was visible through a ceiling-high window in front of the button. Jack stood on the button and the door compliantly opened. Now that he was at the end of the corridor he could see the orange portal waiting on the wall to his right. "Now, I can't fire the blue portal through the doorway thanks to the thick plexiglass window they've stuck in my line of fire, so if you'd do me a favour..." He held the portal gun out for Sam.

She took the portal gun, stepped to the right so the window was no longer in the way, and fired through the doorway. Unfortunately, none of the surfaces on the other side of the door were suitable for portal formation. "Sorry, Sir."

"Carter?"

"I figure whoever designed this test made sure we can't cheat that way."

Jack sighed. "Of course they did." He stepped off the button and the door closed. "So, we've got to get that cube up here. Can you give me a portal down there?"

"Coming right up, Sir." She fired, and the blue-rimmed portal appeared on the wall which the cube had been leaning against. This caused the cube to fall halfway through the portal Jack turned around, grabbed the cube, and dropped it on the button. The door opened stayed open.

""Once again, excellent work," the voice announced. "As part of a required test protocol, we will not monitor the next test chamber. You will be entirely on your own. Good luck."

"Sweet. That voice hasn't been much help anyway. Let's get to the elevator Carter. And can I have the portal shooter back?"

Sam handed it over with a slight grin. They left the test chamber and the elevator whisked them away and opened to the next test.

On leaving the elevator, a sign on the wall ahead announced that they had reached level five, and a diagram warned to watch out for falling weighted storage cubes. A doorway to the right led into the main chamber. Jack took stock of their surroundings. In the middle of the left wall was the exit door. Straight ahead a pair of buttons waited for cubes to be dropped on them. Also directly ahead and halfway up the far wall was a window. The wavy glass prevented a clear view, but Jack could make out a desk, two chairs, two large computer screens mounted high on the wall, and a door leading to some unknown part of the facility. The right-hand wall was broken by a pit of unknown depth, and both the near and far wall featured a raised platform to the right. The far one sported the orange portal, which was the only way someone could access the platform. A cube rested atom the other platform.

"Let's see what's down there," Jack decided. He walked over to the pit and was pleased to see that it contained a second cube and was shallow enough that he could jump down into it. He took the invitation and did so. Once he was safely down, he fired a portal at one of the walls of the pit. Through the newly formed portal he could see the empty platform, and on the other side of the room was the cube-bearing platform.

"Try the secondary trigger," Sam suggested when she saw him try kicking the cube through the portal.

Jack shot her a questioning look, but founded after a little fumbling. A spark of energy appeared between the 'grippers' on the end of the portal gun, and the cube was pulled up to float in front of it. "Ah, that makes carrying it around pretty easy." With the cube now floating before him, Jack stepped through the portal onto the platform. He held the cube over the edge and activated the trigger to drop it down to Sam. "If you'll put that on the button, I'll grab the other one." He fired at the opposite wall above the other platform and turned around to step back through the orange portal. Now he was standing on the other platform behind the second cube. He picked it up with the portal gun and dropped it over the edge.

Sam shifted the second cube onto its button and the door slid open. Meanwhile, Jack had stepped back through the blue portal to the platform with the orange portal. As soon as the door had opened, Jack fired through it at a wall and ran back through the orange portal. Looking back through the door into the main chamber, he saw Sam looking around for him. "Sir?"

"Way ahead of you, Carter."

She spun around to face him. "Sir! How did... oh. Portal. Of course." She smiled and joined him by conventional means. The door immediately shut behind her.

"As part of a required test protocol, our previous statement suggesting that we would not monitor this chamber was an outright fabrication. Good job. As part of a required test protocol, we will stop enhancing the truth in three, two, ***static***"

"Riiiight. You really know how to engender trust."

"Engender?" Sam questioned.

Jack shrugged. "That 'Word of the Day' calendar Daniel gave me."

"Ah. Where do we go now, Sir?" She knew the answer, but was letting him figure out the puzzles for himself.

Jack slowly turned around. All the walls were solid, as was the floor. "No obvious exits." He looked up, and saw that most of the ceiling was another plexiglass window. Through it he could see a small room of twice the height the room he was confined in. Straight ahead (opposite the door Sam entered through) a long hallway was marked as the exit. The ceiling of that room was solid, with the orange portal placed in the centre of it. "Now that's just sneaky." He fired the blue portal onto the floor and looked down through the plexiglass to his and Sam's heads. Below them, he could see through the portal and the window to another more distant view of themselves. "Now that's creepy. Looks like we'll need to jump."

"After you Sir."

"It's a game, not a mission, Carter. You can drop the 'Sir'."

"Sir?" Her tone did not hold the usual respect associated with the title.

"Right, never mind. Let's get out of here." He dropped into the portal, fell out of the ceiling above, and landed neatly on his heel-springs. He stepped aside and Sam landed beside him. "What do you suppose the 'creepy voice' is up to?" he asked as they walked as quickly as they could to the elevator.

"I think it's just to add flavour to the game," Sam suggested after a moment's thought.

"Yeah, sure, but what's it's motive? Is it just trying to confuse or scare us, or is there something deeper going on?"

"I'm sure there's nothing to worry about." The elevator door whooshed open to reveal the next task.

"You're right, Carter. It's only a game." He walked forward to read the test chamber's sign to read the warnings. The disembodied voice chose that moment to make her announcement.

"While safety is one of many Enrichment Center goals, the Aperture Science High-Energy Pellets seen to the left of the chamber can and have caused permanent disabilities, such as vapourisation. Please be careful."

"High-energy pellets? Those sound interesting... and dangerous."

"They are, Sir. Especially the dangerous part."

"I'll keep that in mind." Jack examined the symbols on the sign which outlines the features of the test chamber. The first one showed a figure being struck in the head by a high energy pellet – obviously something to be avoided. The other showed a pellet moving toward some sort of receiver device. The test chamber itself was a room with a high ceiling and walls made of a dark material which did not allow portal formation. High on the left wall, a window allowed an obscured view into an observation room. At the far end of the test chamber, a doorway led to the elevator. However, the doorway was halfway up the wall. In front of the doorway was a platform on top of a hydrolic ram.

On the floor, a strip of blue lights connected the platform to a device which appeared to be the energy pellet receiver. A diffuse beam of red light shone out of the centre part of it, and three upward-pointing prongs were space out evenly around the outside. On the floor in front of it, a tile bore the image of an energy pellet entering the device, matching the one on the sign at the entrance. On the left side of the floor, the orange portal sat ready, labeled with a tile bearing the image of a figure receiving a face-full of energy-pellet. A device protruding from the ceiling directly above was obviously the emitter, as bright ball of energy was bouncing between it and the part of the floor bearing the inactive orange portal.

"I'm thinking we need to get that glowing ball into that catcher thing, to lower the platform," Jack figured. "If I put the blue portal somewhere..." He fired at the floor and the portals activated. The next time the energy pellet reached the ground, it passed through the orange portal rather than bouncing back up. It continued on its way up from the blue portal until it bounced of the ceiling. A black scorch mark was left behind. "Ouch! That's definitely a safety hazard." He turned his attention to the ceiling, in particular the slight red glow from the catcher below. He fired at the centre of the glow, placing the blue portal directly above the catcher device. The next time the energy pellet entered the orange portal on the floor, it came out of the blue portal on the ceiling and continued down to the catcher. The prongs moved to help shunt it inside and then flattened, and the ball was captured with a bright blue glow. The indicator lights on the floor turned orange and the hydrolics lowered the platform to ground-level.

"Success," Jack declared.

"Unbelievable! You, _'subject name here'_, must be the pride of _'subject hometown here'_," the voice announced, using a tone of voice for the placeholder words which made Sam laugh even though she'd heard it before.

"You mother was a pocket calculator!" Jack responded as he and Sam stepped onto the platform. Fortunately the voice seemed to ignore the slur, as the platform automatically raised its passengers up to the level of the exit.

"Was that really necessary?" Sam asked as they entered the elevator.

"It was mocking me, I'm sure!" Jack asserted. "And it's not like a bit of good-natured teasing will do any harm. It's a computer, what's the worst it can do? Talk us to death?"

"I suppose it could refuse to open the doors for us, but then we'd exit the game. And the game probably isn't scripted for it to do anything like that. It's not adaptive like the simulation Teal'c was trapped in."

"Good, so I can insult it with impunity."

Sam simply sighed as they stepped into test chamber seven.

"Warning devices are required on all mobile equipment. However, alarms and flashing hazard lights have been found to agitate the High Energy Pellet, and have therefore been disabled for your safety."

Jack rolled his eyes. "It's _so_ messing with us. Anyhow... we've got stairs down into the room, an energy ball shooter on the left wall, a big burn mark where it bounces off the right wall, the orange portal placed handily on the floor directly underneath the catcher on the ceiling, and lots of walls which don't allow portals at the other end of the room. That must be to stop us from using a portal to sneak out the door without activating that sliding platform doohicky. And there's another observation window on our right, with a desk, chairs, and more computer screens. I suppose people used to watch the test subjects before they gave the job to Miss Automatic Creepy Voice."

"That's my guess too," Sam agreed. "I wonder where all the employees are, now that the test chambers are automated."

"I hope we find out once the testing is over. Speaking of which, I figure putting the portal where the energy ball keeps burning the wall should direct it into the catcher." Sure enough, the pellet was sent from the wall to the floor and was captured by the receiver on the ceiling

"Good, now use the Aperture Science Unstationary Scaffold to reach the chamber-lock," the voice directed simply.

"Is 'unstationary' even a word?" Jack wondered.

Sam nodded. "Actually, it is."

"You checked last time you played, didn't you?"

Sam merely smiled enigmatically.

Jack shrugged and watched the platform slowly move along its glowing track of energy to the right, where it stopped at the exit. Then it moved back to the left side of the chamber. "Looks like we need a way to get onto the platform." There was no obvious way up, until Jack inspected the ceiling. Most of that side of the room had a brown metal ceiling to block portals, but the leftmost section was grey concrete blocks. "Great, we're doing the 'fall from the ceiling' thing again, but this time we're landing on a moving platform." He fired the blue portal at the ceiling above where the platform would stop, and waited beside the orange one, waiting for the right moment to jump through.

Eventually the platform moved far enough to the left that it was visible when looking down through the portal. Jack jumped through and landed in the middle of the platform just before it reached the leftmost position. He quickly moved to a corner to give Sam some landing space. She dropped beside him as the platform began its trip to the right-hand side of the room, where it allowed them to step off through the chamber's exit and to the elevator. "That wasn't so hard."

"You're doing well, Sir," Sam complimented.

"Thanks, that means a lot more coming from you than from the creepy voice. I thought those glowy balls would be more difficult to avoid, but so far I haven't needed to get anywhere near them. Maybe this isn't so dangerous after all."

"Maybe," Sam echoed as the elevator doors whooshed open.

"Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your official testing record. Followed by death. Good luck!"

"Uh, Carter?"

"Sir?"

"Forget what I just said."

"Already forgotten, Sir," Sam answered with an obvious smirk.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own the intellectual property rights to SG-1 or Portal. This is just for fun. And for science.

Admission: I only started this chapter a few hours ago.

"So... what little pictures does this test have?" Jack asked rhetorically as he stepped up to the introductory sign. "Person getting whacked by the 'energy pellet', energy pellet going into the catcher thing, um, is that someone drowning? And the bottom one looks like it means 'no drinking'."

Sam indicated the sickly green sludge that formed the 'floor' of the test chamber. "As if anyone would want to try drinking that, Sir."

"Carter, any chance you could find a way to add Guinness to the game?" Jack asked hopefully.

Sam shook her head. "Sorry Sir." Figuring it was time to get started, she stepped through the opening into the test chamber. Immediately an orange portal was formed on the left hand wall, and an energy pellet was fired from the back wall to her left.

Jack assessed the situation. "We've got the glowing ball bouncing between the back and far walls, with a portal on the left and the catcher on the right, but not opposite the portal. The metal walls stop us from portalling straight to the other side of the water, and if we use the blue portal to go to the orange one, we'll be stuck on a stationary platform halfway across, and right in the path of the glow-ball. I figure the ball-catcher powers up the currently-stationary unstationary platform halfway along the other side, which we could reach with a portal from the other platform... but we need to figure out how to get the ball to the catcher first. The only place to start is to put the blue portal on the far wall where the ball hits, but..." To demonstrate, he fired the portal where he had indicated.

The energy pellet passed through the portal, crossed the room from left to right, and bounced off the right hand wall quite a way from the catcher. "You're right, Sir, it's not that easy," Sam commented.

Jack watched the ball return through the orange portal and out his blue portal. "The orange portal doesn't move, I can't move the blue portal... except for after the ball has gone through. Aha!" Jack waited for the pellet to return through the blue portal, then moved that portal to a spot on the left wall opposite the catcher. After the pellet bounced off the right hand wall, it returned into the orange portal and out of the new location of the blue portal.. and straight into the catcher.

"Sweet. And there goes the unstationary platform. Let's get out of here." Jack moved the blue portal to a nearby wall, and he and Sam stepped through to the stationary platform. One of the tiles bore a copy of the diagram of a figure being hit by an energy pellet. "Good thing we got rid of the glow-ball before we came this way. Vaporisation would ruin my whole day!" Looking across the water at the remainder of the test chamber, he suddenly frowned. "Uh oh."

"Sir?"

"We have to step out of the wall onto the unstat... moving platform, without dropping in the drink. Or the don't drink. We'll have to time this right." He fired the blue portal onto the wall just above the spot where the platform stopped, and noticed that he could see his and Sam's backs through the portal, with another smaller copy of the portal behind them, and another, and so on. Turning around, he could see the same thing but with repeated orange portals instead of blue. Then the platform moved into view.

After waiting for the platform to become stationary, Jack stepped through quickly, and moved away to give Sam some space to step onto. But before he could say anything, the platform restarted it's motion. "Carter, you'll have to take the next trip," he stated rather obviously.

"That's probably for the best, Sir," Sam agreed. "Less chance of once of us knocking the other off by mistake." By this time the platform had reached the furthest point of its journey, and stopped barely for long enough for Jack to step onto the metal walkway that let him the last few steps over the water to the material emancipation grille and the chamber lock. Sam wasn't far behind.

As the pair stepped into the elevator, they were welcomed with the inevitable computerised comment. "Very impressive. Please note that any appearance of danger is merely a device to enhance your testing experience."

"We'd much prefer it not enhanced," Jack responded, to no avail. "You needn't go to the extra trouble on our account."

"The Enrichment Center regrets to inform you that this next test is impossible. Make no attempt to solve it," came the reply.

"Hey, I was only trying to make your job easier," Jack snapped back. "Fine, enhance all you like." He moved into the test chamber and noticed a familiar layout. "Carter, is this the one you were on when I first saw you playing?" Sam nodded in response. "Sweet, I'll have this done in no time." He began by firing the blue portal under the weighted storage cube, so it fell out the orange portal onto the elevated platform. Then he stepped through the emancipation grille, which shut down the blue portal, and into the room with the button. Putting a blue portal on the wall, he easily reached back into the first room to grab the cube.

"Once again, the Enrichment Center offers it's most sincere apologies on the occasion of this unsolvable test environment," the disembodied voice announced.

"Ya think?" Jack teased as he dropped the box on the button, opening the door.

"Fantastic. You remained resolute and resourceful in an atmosphere of extreme pessimism."

"So that's what you're up to. I can tell you now that no amount of mind games is going to make us give up," Jack promised the voice.

"I don't think that's helping, Sir," Sam commented as they rode the elevator to the next test chamber. "It's just a game, so it can't reply to you."

Jack shrugged. "Then it's not doing any harm, is it?" he answered rhetorically.

"I suppose not. Sir."

"Hello again, to reiterate..." the remainder of the computer's instructions were lost in garbled static, besides the words 'previous' and 'momentum'.

"Sounds like it's looking to find out whether we'll try to figure this out ourselves without the proper instructions," Jack figured. "I think it's your turn Carter." He handed her the portal gun and stood back to let her work her magic.

A step too high to climb formed the first obstacle. Sam put a portal on the ground and dropped through. She 'fell' out of a portal on the wall above, letting her momentum carry her onto the step. Jack waited for her to move aside and followed very carefully. They continued up a stairway through a door which closed behind them. A whirring overhead drew their attention to a a moving panel overhead. It extended a short distance from the back wall and stopped so the orange portal could form on it. Ahead, a deep pit prevented forward progress. Only the bottom of the pit was able to hold a portal – the rest was made of metal. Sam fired the blue portal onto the bottom of the bit and jumped down without a worry. She rapidly picked up speed – enough speed to take her right over the pit when she emerged from the overhead portal.

After Sam landed lightly on her heel-springs, the computer commented, "Spectacular. You appear to understand how a portal affects forward momentum, or to be more precise, how it does not."

"So... when you fall fast into a portal on the floor, you shoot out just as fast sideways from a portal on the wall," Jack reinterpreted. "Is it fun?"

Sam's eyes lit up. "It's like flying."

"I'll have to try it," Jack responded... and jumped. He felt himself rushing down towards the portal... and then he was through it. Immediately, gravity was pointing in a different relative direction, and he began falling that way, while still moving in the direction that had previously been 'down' but was now 'forwards' – or more precisely, 'over the pit.'. He landed a little awkwardly but kept his footing. "Not bad... but there's more, isn't there?"

"Yep," Sam agreed, and continued forward through another automatically closing door. There was another pit in the next room, but the far side of this one was higher. Also, the orange portal was at the bottom of it, with a surface able to put a portal on extending from the back wall above them. A spiral staircase led up from the pit to the near side, so they could get back out – but not forward – if they fell in without a portal set up to get them out again.

Sam fired the portal at the wall behind her, and then jumped into the pit and the orange portal. As expected, her momentum carried her to the other side. Just in case it wasn't completely obvious, the computer chimed in with the words, "Momentum; A function of mass and velocity; is conserved between portals. In layman's terms: Speedy-thing goes in, Speedy-thing comes out."

"It speaks my language," Jack joked as the portalable panel was extended even further out from the wall and over the pit. Actually, it was completely over the main part of the bit, meaning Jack could simply take the stairs to the bottom and drop through to land beside Sam (after she had replaced the blue portal, as it vanished as soon as the panel began moving). But beyond her was a second step to an even higher level, meaning they had to drop down into the pit again to get the momentum to reach the top. In fact, they gained enough momentum that they both slid across the floor, almost as far as the material emancipation grille.

"That was a pretty simple one," Sam noted. "But the jumping and the changes in apparent gravity take some getting used to. It's nowhere near as intense as the stargate though," she mused.

"Except when you come out of the stargate, up and down still feel like they're in the same places. Though there was that time when we were spat out rather hard and rolled down the stairs. But that was different. I wonder what would happen if someone installed their gate the wrong way up?"

But there was no opportunity to answer that question, thanks to the usual interruption. "The Enrichment Center promises to always provide safe testing environments."

Jack rolled his eyes. "Oh really?"

"In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice."

"Small consolation."

" For instance, the floor here will kill you."

"Not again!"

"Try to avoid it."

Jack rolled his eyes at the ceiling. "Carter, is it just me, or does the computer have a very different definition of 'useful advice' to us?" He strode forward to a large bay window where a room containing more of the grimy green toxic sludge was clearly visible below. "Isn't that obviously lethal?"

"Yes, Sir," Sam answered plainly as she handed over the portal gun.

"Right, of course, it's just messing with us. So... no obvious way out of here, so we'll need a portal on the wall... oh." Jack looked positively dismayed when he saw that the orange end of the portal was on a wall with nothing but toxic sludge below. "That's not getting us anywhere." But then he spotted a second portal gun in the centre of the chamber. It turned around and fired at a different wall. Now the portal led to a much safer – and drier- alcove. "Sweet! Looks like we get to have the orange gun! If we can get to it. Hmm, the only way to get to it is another 'unstationary' platform... which we need to switch on with a ball catcher... and the glow ball is in a different room on the other side of the deadly sewage. But fear not, there's a small red button to push."

Worried about what the button might do – such as dump more sludge into the room or make something explode – Jack traced a strip of blue lights from the button around the room until it reached... "It's hard to say, but I'm hoping the button opens that panel in the wall. Only one way to find out." Jack pushed the button, the strip of lights turned orange, the panel opened... and something began ticking. "Carter! It's ticking!"

"Sir?"

"Is that bad?"

With a brief buzz, the lights turned back to blue, the panel closed, and the ticking stopped. "I don't think so," Sam decided.

"A time limit," Jack observed. He pushed the button again and fired the portal gun at the open panel. The blue swirl of energy passed through and opened the portal on a wall in the other room. After waiting for the orange gun to rotate and re-open the orange portal in their alcove, Jack stepped through into the other room. "I'll be right back."

Looking around this new room, Jack quickly decided that the only thing to do was to move the blue portal so it was in the path of the energy pellet. This should eventually send it into the catcher, though it would take a while as the orange gun continually moved the other end of the portal. "Carter, I'm going to sent the glowy-ball through soon, so keep to the edge," he shouted back through the portal. He gave her a few seconds and then fired the blue portal into the right location. On the first try, the energy pellet shot past Sam and uselessly hit a wall, but on the second try it reached the catcher an activated the unstationary platform.

"Good job Sir," Carter praised him once he waited for the orange portal to move and let him back into the alcove.

"We've still got to get the orange gun," he reminded her. He fired the blue portal at the starting point of the platform and waited for it and the orange portal to be in the right places to let him step through onto it. Then it was a simple matter of waiting for the platform to take him to the 'island' in the middle of the chamber where the orange portal gun was waiting to be picked up. When he had almost reached it, he tossed the blue portal gun over the toxic moat to Sam, so his hands were free to grab the orange one and step back onto the platform before it left without him. Then once the platform returned to the wall, both players fired their guns to open a portal for Jack to step back through into the alcove.

While they did this, the computer-voice decided it was time for a chat. "The device has been modified so that it can now manufacture two linked portals at once. As part of an optional test protocol, we are pleased to present an amusing fact. The device is now more valuable than the organs and combined incomes of everyone in _Subject Hometown Here_."

"Yes, very droll," Jack replied with just a hint of humour. " But not true – our organs are pretty darn valuable! So... where's the exit?"

"You didn't see one before?"

"Nope, not a one. Not in the Bouncing Ball of Doom Room, and not in the Smelly Slime of Doom Room either."

"There's nothing here either, Sir."

"Carter! How can there be no exit?"

Suddenly Sam gasped and pointed at the ball catcher – or rather above it. There was a second sliding panel, marked with an exit sign. "Must have missed that. But how do we... d'oh!" Plainly visible on the 'island' beside the pedestal which had held the orange portal gun was a second red button. "I'm _sure_ that wasn't there before!"

After another slow trip across the unstationary platform, Jack pushed the button and fired his orange portal through. Sam immediately stepped through her blue portal into the hall which thankfully lead to the elevator. Jack then replaced his orange portal on the wall and returned to the wall on the platform – after waiting for it to return. He stepped through and fell out Sam's blue portal which she had sneakily placed on the ceiling right in front of the emancipation grille.

"Ooops," she said cheekily, moments before he fired the orange portal under her feet. As she fell through with an amused shriek, he rolled out of the landing zone... and fell through his portal himself. Sam realised she was about to be squashed and rolled out of the way herself... and fell back through the portal. This time, Jack had the presence of mind to roll in the opposite direction.

"Ahh, I think I lost a tooth!" he yelled.

"Oh! I'm so sorry Sir, I didn't realise..."

"No, it wasn't your fault Carter, the fizzly-thing emancipated my tooth!"

Sam found that hard to believe. "It did? Show me."

Jack opened his mouth, and Sam put down her portal gun so she could move in for a closer look. But before she could determine if she could see a missing tooth, he had grabbed her gun and ran to the elevator with both. Sam realised she'd been fooled and followed him with an exasperated groan. "You can have it back if you promise not to drop me through any ceilings unnecessarily," he told her with mock officialism.

"Fine, I promise, but you better not do it to me either," she bargained.

"Deal." He returned her blue gun – he'd decided it was hers as it matched her eyes and her taste in Jello – and stepped into the next test chamber. "Twelve out of nineteen. Not too many more left."

"They might get longer. I didn't make it this far though the game, so I have no idea," Sam admitted.

The computer added something unintelligible beyond the word 'fling'. "Great, more momentum puzzles. Just what I didn't need."

The first stage was a fairly simple 'put a portal at the bottom of a pit and one on a wall above then jump in' task, thought the overhead part was a lot higher and was on the far wall rather than the back wall, which made it quite a long drop if anything went wrong. Fortunately nothing did. Once both officers had reached the platform which was essentially the roof over the starting area, they could aim a portal at an even higher bit of extended wall and could then jump all the way down in order to fling themselves to an even higher point. This area contained a button, which opened a door on a yet higher level on the other side of the shaft they had ascended. And naturally the weighted cube they needed was up there too.

It didn't look like they'd be able to reach the other side, even by flinging themselves through portals, but when they approached the button, the portalable part of the wall tilted up at an angle, to provide better lift. After placing the portal, Jack jumped down to the second level, and then leaped down into the portal in the pit, launching himself over to the other side and bumping into the wall beside the waiting cube. He picked himself up off the floor and tossed the cube down to Sam who placed it on the door-opening button and followed his high-speed path through the portal.

"That was pretty quick," Jack noted as they rode the elevator to the next level.

"Maybe I was wrong. Now that we're in control of both portals, this shouldn't take a long time," Sam agreed. Together, they walked into the thirteenth chamber.

An ominous announcement was made, as usually happened at the start of each test. "Now that you are in control of both portals, this next test could take a very, very long time. If you become lightheaded from thirst, feel free to pass out. An intubation associate will be dispatched to revive you with peptic salve and adrenaline."

"Forget I said anything, Sir."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Note: here's a shorter one, as it's high time I went to bed. Plus I spent a chunk of time fiddling around in-game as I'm going for the Transmission Received achievement while testing out different ways of solving the puzzles that our two heroes might chose, accounting for the two-person dynamic.

"Soooo... what do we have here?" Jack asked, looking around the new test chamber to see what might take them such a long time.

"Door, button, cube, for this room," Sam succinctly enumerated.

"But the cube and the door are up on a platform we can't reach, except with portals," Jack finished for her. "Or I could stand on the button myself and shoot a portal through the door," he added.

"We might need the cube later on," Sam warned, pointing through the window to the main chamber. "There's two buttons in there, and only one cube."

"We could shoot a portal through that door too," Jack suggested. "We don't really need the cubes at all."

"Unless the walls on the other side are metal," Sam pointed out, not wanting to take any chances. "It's easy enough to take this cube, plus one of the buttons is right in the path of a high energy pellet, so I would recommend against standing there."

"Taking the cube it is," Jack chose, firing his orange portal onto the wall behind the otherwise unreachable cube. Sam activated her own end of the portal on the wall beside the button, and quickly reached through to move it onto the button. The door obediently slid open with its characteristic clatter and strip of orange lights.

Sam had noticed that each of the buttons in the main room was seated on a raised platform, and above the middle of each was a white roof tile with one or two black dots. These were assumably helpful markers of where to place portals in order to drop objects down onto the buttons. By standing on top of the weighted storage cube – and a fair amount of leaning to one side – Sam was able to sight the marker tile with one dot through the open door, and place her portal there. The other one would have been easier to aim at, but it was the one for the button in the path of the deadly energy pellet. "Sir, if you move your orange portal onto the wall down here, I should be able to drop the cube right on top of the button," she suggested.

Jack obliged, and Sam picked up the cube and held it halfway through the portal. She let go and it 'fell' into the wall and out of the ceiling, landing squarely onto the button. "Sweet," Jack praised with a grin. "But now we have to jump through there too."

"Only one of us, Sir," Carter corrected, stepping through herself. 'Sideways' was converted into 'down', and she twisted her body as she fell in order to get her heel-springs into a landing position. She landed neatly on the corner of the platform, right beside the cube and button, and checked below to ensure the energy pellet was heading away from her. Once she was assured of her safety, she jumped down to the floor and moved her blue portal onto the wall at ground-level.

Seeing the view through his portal change, Jack simple stepped through. "Thanks, Carter. Even though this is just a simulation, I prefer to keep the falls and flips to a minimum. There was enough crazy flinging of our squishy selves in the previous test."

"Squishy?" Sam questioned.

Jack poked her in the side. "We're squishier than the stuff this place is made of."

"If you say so, Sir." As that conversation wasn't getting anywhere, Sam pointed at the second cube, on the other side of the room. "The other cube is on a not-yet-unstationary platform, and the ceiling and wall above it are metal, so we'll need to get it moving so I can drop down and grab it."

"And that means sending the glow-ball into the catcher, yes?"

"Yes." The catcher was on the floor so Sam moved her portal to the ceiling above. Jack quickly placed his own on the burn mark that marked the spot the pellet bounced off in its traversal of the room. Pretty soon, the catcher was powered up and the platform started to move. Sam moved her portal to a carefully chosen bit of ceiling above the path of the platform, and Jack placed his on the nearest available wall. Sam watched through the portal until the platform was underneath, then stepped through. She landed squarely on top of the cube, which she soon kicked down to her commander/teammate. After she returned to the ground, it was a simple matter of putting one portal above the final button and the other one underneath the cube. Gravity did the rest.

The door opened.

"Just our luck: the wall on the other side of the door isn't metal after all." Jack complained immediately. "We could have done without the cubes entirely!"

"Then one of us would have needed to jump down into the path of the energy pellet," Sam reminded him.

Jack considered this for a moment. "I retract my statement. Let's get out of here before that in-tube -person shows up." He shot his portal through the door and stepped through Sam's as soon as she moved it back onto the wall.

"As part of a previously mentioned required test protocol, we can no longer lie to you. When the testing is over, you will be... _missed_."

Jack looked up sharply. "_Missed_, you say? I don't like the way that sounds."

"It's probably just trying to demotivate us again," Sam suggested as they entered the elevator.

"Let's go with that for now, but this thing isn't exactly proving its trustworthiness."

"Maybe the purpose is to see if we can complete the tests despite an untrustworthy guide," Sam wondered.

"I don't know, but I'm keeping a close ear on that thing," Jack declared. "For instance, let's see what it has to say for chamber 14..."

"All subjects intending to handle high-energy gamma-leaking portal technology must be informed that they may be informed of applicable regulatory compliance issues. No further compliance information is required or will be provided, and you are an excellent test subject."

"Uh... Carter, could you translate that into English?"

Sam looked equally lost. "It _might_ be saying that the portal technology leaks dangerous radiation, or it might not. I think I'd need Daniel to decipher the implications."

"But it was definitely ominous," Jack observed. "Let's just keep going... and try not to look into the operational end of the device."

"Sounds good, Sir," Sam heartily agreed.

Another Note: I've seen level 13 completed in only 8 seconds (on Youtube) - that's before GLaDOS has finished saying "very, very long time"!


End file.
